People lose things every day, from the smallest piece of possession like a pencil to something huge like a lot of money. Every loss has a measure of pain that comes with it; however, the pain a person feels after losing someone as unique as a mother can not compare to other pains.
Anyone can lose a mother, but this article will concentrate on girls who have lost their mother.
The bond between a mother and a daughter is a very strong one, and when something as painful as death treacherously rips that bond apart, it becomes a severe blow to the daughter. There is no love as pure, unconditional, and strong as a mother’s love to her daughter, and most girls who have lost their mother feel that they can never have that kind of love again.
When this loss occurs, most girls go through these stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Each person’s expression of grief differs, and so not everyone might go through all stages or in the same order.
For motherless girls to get through with all the grief stages without losing themselves, help is needed. This article explains five things you can do to let motherless girls know that they are not alone.
How to Provide Support to Motherless Girls
1. Spend time with them when they are prone to remember their mother and be ready to listen to them.
Trying to talk to someone that has lost a mother won’t always be an easy job. Sometimes the pain they go through forces them to crawl into a shell and shut the world out. They build up armor around them that protects and guards them against people, even people who love her.
Due to the walls they build around themselves; they act cold to people, especially those who try to talk to them, but deep down, they yearn for that care. Therefore, patience and love are required when dealing with them.
As a friend to a motherless girl, if she refuses to let you in, why don’t you give it a try some other time. Your persistence would pay off one day.
There are no particular days for grieving the loss of a mother, but there are some days that their significance increases the grief; days like Mother’s day, a dead mother’s birthday, or her death anniversary.
On such days, you can brighten up their day by sending a text on that day. A simple text can go a long way to change their mood because they know that you remember and value such days. You can also try visiting if that would be possible.
As a good friend, you might have loads of encouraging words to say to your friend who has lost her mother, but sometimes, what she needs from you is for you to listen to her as she pours out her heart.
2. Never compare a bad relationship you have to the death of their mother.
Most women can have kids, but not all are worthy of being mothers. While some kids are fortunate to have a devoted, caring, and loving mom, others have to suffer the consequences of having the opposite.
Due to the non-existent close relationship between a mother and her child, that child might become estranged from her mother. For kids like that, they either choose not to talk about their mother or criticize her whenever they talk about her.
For this kind of person, while your situation is an understandably painful one, it would show love on your part to never compare the bad relationship you have with your mother to the situation of a person who lost a mother in death.
A person with a bad mother still has chances of mending that relationship as far as they are both still alive, but for one that has lost a mother to death, death is a journey of no return; it is a forever deal. The bottom line is to be very mindful of the kind of speech we make while in the company of motherless girls.
3. Arrange a Motherless daughters luncheon for them
Spending time with a person who understands you or someone with the same experience will hit you differently. They have walked the same path you did, felt the pain, and experienced the same feelings as yours.
Most motherless girls who did not have the opportunity to mingle with people went through the same situation as they did feel bad about it. They think that exchanging experiences with someone that understands can be therapeutic.
You can arrange to organize a motherless girls luncheon or gathering to help a friend who has lost a mother. Such gatherings can be an uplifting event for motherless people to make them know that they are not alone.
4. Organize or introduce them to special retreats
empoweringHER is a non-profit organization to empower, support, and connect girls or young women who have lost their mothers. They hold retreats on days like mother’s day to show motherless girls that they are not alone.
Other special retreats are also solely focused on helping motherless girls get back on their feet. As a friend trying to help a motherless girl, organizing or arranging for them to attend a retreat would make a big difference.
5. Introduce them to the Messages from mom app
A young child needs her mother for practically everything in her life. To bathe, feed, to cloth, and do everything else. As that child grows, she learns to do some things for herself, and little by little, she learns to take care of herself.
But the truth is, no matter how well a child grows, she still needs her mother. Simple things like a message from mom on special days can make a difference or that loving embrace filled with encouragement and assurance from a mum on a bad day.
However, some people can no longer enjoy these things from their moms, either because they live far apart or lose her to death. One peculiar and exciting way you can make motherless girls feel like their moms are still with them is by introducing them to the Messages From Mom app.
It is a virtual mom app designed to help people who have lost their moms get back on their feet. The app’s features include sending you mom-related motivational messages and quotes, and reminders on important events like birthdays or mothers’ day. One can also receive daily reminders from activities that mom would usually remind them.
The app is easy to set up and available for download on Google Play Store and Apple Store.
Losing a mother in death is a challenging experience to go through. Some motherless girls that we know sometimes lose themselves in grief. However, as friends to these, we can help. By paying close attention to them, organizing or arranging for them to meet with people with the same experience as theirs can help.
We can also let them know they are not alone by organizing special retreats or introducing them to apps like the Messages From Mom app.