Various studies have shown that the divorce rate is generally declining, but the number of couples who decide to divorce after the age of 50 has doubled in the last few years. People in their sixties also divorce much more than in the past. The same trend can also be observed in people in their seventies and even people in their eighties. Some reasons for this: we feel young for longer, which means that we take the step faster. Social pressure has fallen and divorce is considered more normal.
Women are now often more financially free than before because they also have a job. This means that more and more people also start a relationship again after their marriage, after a long time.
What Should I Take Into Account?
1. No More Intense Emotions
A relationship after a first or maybe even a second marriage starts with a considerable life experience. Sometimes you carry quite a heavy backpack after a divorce, with a lot of positive and negative experiences. Take enough time to first process what has been. Only then can you open up to something new. Only when you notice that you can only be happy, are you ‘relationship ready’ and a relationship can offer added value.
It is not to be underestimated which roller-coaster of emotions you go through, whether you yourself were the initiator or not. First process what has happened and try to find a balance within yourself again. A new relationship starting from a fear or distress usually does not end well. Fear of staying alone, fear of not being able to continue financially.
Fear of raising your children alone. This is also called ‘ rebound ‘. First, enjoy your bachelor life, have fun, go back to sports, pay attention to yourself again. Do things you always wanted to do.
2. Go Date
Think of dating as the chance for a nice meeting or a pleasant evening, regardless of whether it is in a relationship or not. There are plenty of dating sites, but also sites for singles, to do fun things together and meet new people. By the way, dating doesn’t only have to go through dating sites.
3. Find someone you already know
You can also find a partner in your own network. A matrimonial website can play a good role in it. Your new partner can be online (on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) or offline. Your family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances from associations in which you belong. These are examples of your offline network. Create a perfect matrimony profile and keep searching within or outside your network. Come out! When people don’t know you, they can’t meet you. They are not going to get to you.
4. Give time to your children
Whether or not divorce is a blessing, it will have quite an impact on your kids anyway. Give them time to get used to the new situation. Maybe they have long hoped that things would still work out between their parents. They don’t need to immediately share the parent with anyone else. So try to agree in the beginning when the children are with the other parent. And do not introduce the new partner until it is clear that there is a serious relationship.
5. Don’t make them feel bad
Clearly indicate that the partner does not take the place of the other parent. Having a good chat with your kids now and then can work wonders. In this way you discover what feeling they have and can respond to it. Spend plenty of time with them and do something special every now and then. At that point, give them all your attention.
6. Never Compare Your New Partner with Ex
It is not at all nice when a comparison is made every so often with how the ex would have done it. How he would think or act. When you choose to go through life with a new partner, a new personality is immediately associated with it.